Asking for help – Not Just for Wimps

Linda Schnabel, PCC, MCRS, MCIS, MCCS, JCTC 
Senior Consultant & Strategist, Graham Management Group

Let’s face it! The majority of six-figure professionals are anything but wimps. They’ve been regularly called upon in their roles to run the show, deal with complex problems, and provide support to those requiring leadership. They have had no option but to be pillars of strength, concealing vulnerability in the face of challenge and adversity. People ask them for guidance and help; after all that’s the natural order of things. Or is it? Is there ever a time when asking for help is actually the smartest thing a senior professional can do, particularly when faced with job loss and career transition?

Take Jill, for example. When she lost her job as vice president of business development, her employer provided her with the services of transition counselling. Jill loathed the idea of taking advantage of this support. After all, she was talented, intelligent, energetic, and strategic. Clearly, the task of finding employment couldn’t be more difficult than developing business for a multi-million dollar organization.

Jill soon realized that losing a job is something that can strike  at the heart of one’s self-worth.  She also discovered that finding employment is not simply a “task” to check off a “to-do” list. Rather, it’s a profoundly personal journey that requires more than intelligence and talent. 

In his book, “The Unemployment Survival Guide,” psychologist, Jim Stringham, says: “Society’s methods for coping with divorce or other negative events are far better established than those for coping with unemployment. The solution is to seek community support.”

As you embark on your career transition, you may ask yourself “What kind of help might be most relevant in my case?” Immediately, this begs another question: “Who do I ask for such help?”
 

MORAL SUPPORT

Certainly, in the case of moral support, it’s important to speak to a trusted peer or professional. If your company has provided you with a career coach or if you have hired your own, lean into this person’s experience and ability to help you gain perspective. Talking about your situation to the right people can help you clear emotional fog, reduce isolation, and provide opportunity for much needed encouragement.

REFERRAL SUPPORT

On a tactical note, to escalate your job search, networking is key. Therefore, ask for help from professionals you already know and respect. Learn from them and make it clear that you are seeking information, advice, and referrals – not pinning them down for a specific job.

STRATEGIC SUPPORT

Enlist the experience of those who have successfully transitioned from one job to another. How did they do it? What tips can serve you? You can also find this kind of help through formal networking groups, industry associations, or career clubs.

FINANCIAL SUPPORT

It may also be that your financial situation needs evaluation in order to ensure that you meet your obligations while you transition to your new role. Seek out a skilled financial professional who can co-create a strategy with you.

FAMILY SUPPORT

Family members may also be recipients of your petition for help, particularly as this relates to asking for specific ways your home-based team can support your career transition efforts.

Realizing that asking for help is not always easy, here are a few steps to get you started:

• Recognize that “no man is an island” and you can’t always go it alone.
• Identify what you need right now to successfully take the next step in your job search.
• Develop a strategy for “the ask.” Who? Where? When? Why?
• Prepare a script for “the ask.” (Is it advice, moral support, a lead? Each “ask” will be different).
• Tame your gremlins – that negative self-talk that can sabotage good intentions.
• Implement your strategy with specific deadlines, goals, and outcomes to achieve.
• Observe the process, celebrate success, and thank your supporters.
• Give back as much as you get for meaningful exchanges; support your supporters’ agenda.
• Learn to deal with the inevitable rejection that may come your way from a minority of those to whom you reach out.

Let’s reflect back to Jill, as described at the outset. To her credit, Jill overcame her stoic and self-reliant approach to job search and developed a plan that included asking for help from family members, industry associates, recruiters, consultants, and the many new contacts she accrued. The result: Jill became very comfortable asking for help. Since landing her new role, she provides support and advice to others who are engaged in a search, reflecting upon her experience like this: “At the end of the day, I learned that asking for what I need is not synonymous with failure. At the same time, I learned how to be an even more generous giver.”

The bottom line: asking for what you need doesn’t make you wimp, a failure, or weak. Rather it identifies you as a savvy job seeker who appreciates that it’s not only okay to lean on others from time to time, it’s the smart thing to do.

Start getting help today. Take Graham Management Group’s newest survey OUTLOOK 2010: Competitive Career Intelligence for Six-Figure Canadians and receive a complimentary self-study program entitled Strategic Planning for the Six-Figure Professional from Sharon Graham, Canada’s Career Strategist. You’ll also get free access to Graham Management Group’s Canadian Competitive Intelligence Report and you’ll receive a $100.00 credit on any resume portfolio development services from Graham Management Group in 2010.

Linda Schnabel  has spent the past 15 years in the career management field and holds designations as a Professional Certified Coach, Master Certified resume, interview, and career strategist, and Job and Career Transition Coach. As senior Consultant for Graham Management Group, Linda assists executives, managers, and six-figure professionals through the full scope of career transition. You can contact Linda and find further information and articles directly at www.GrahamManagement.com.

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